Dilated and Delusional

Today's visit to the eye doctor at Costco ended with dilating pupils. There is NOTHING like wandering Costco while your pupils slowly expand to saucers. Who wants to see MORE of the Costco SUPERSIZED product packages? It's terrifying.

To pass the time waiting for my eyes to bloom so that they could be examined with piercing bright lights at their most vulnerable, I went searching for a new uniform sweater for my daughter. As I fingered through piles of navy blue chenille sweaters trying to read sizes with glasses on, then off with the item held up to my nose, then on with the item held at arms length, I decided the experience was like being cast in a real life version of a 1970's tv movie in which the heroine has been unknowingly drugged and staggers through downtown ________-ville trying to find an antidote.

The new contacts have 100% UV protection, though, so after the doctor blasted her floodlight into my wide-open-pupils, I was able to put the lenses in and gain a little relief. The world's still a little disoriented, but last time I checked, it was disoriented for reasons other than dilated pupils. Maybe now I see straight.